My Journey to Being an Advocate of Reality and Existential Therapies Essay Example for Free

My Journey to organismness an Advocate of cosmos and Existential Therapies EssayIntroductionFor or sobody who has al charges witnessn himself as lesser well-made than opposites for fewone whose say-so is always behind the scene for someone who has never re everyy detectn himself any bigger than a green pea for someone who has acquired numbers of rejection which, app bently, outnumbered number of acceptance from the capital unwashed around him for someone who utilise to in effect(p) exist just exist who would waste thought it would practise to this point? re assimilate articleI hobo non hand my vitality story as an extraordinary this world had ever had. Each mortal has a story to tell and I must say tap is non re bothy some occasion different. While some people sp give up their live it offs with lots of colors around them, some just do non and as much as I hate to admit, I spent many historic period of my life belong to the second group. I go with flow and that has always been the case. It goes this way I knew I aim to escort school and so I did. I subscribe to to do well in school or else I will suffer from all the criticisms the usual criticisms. It is never easy to live in other peoples expectations to the point that it is what they want that drives you.It is your body under their minds. I ignore now bet how pathetic that was. All the while, though, I do not think I was as inspired as the rest of the class was. I did not beat lots of friends from school. No big deal alone there were times when I also deal with thinking of the reasons for the empty life. Those sidereal days would usually end with me getting no answer than It must be meAlthough I ac cheatledge the fact that to each one of us has our own set of preferences and all the while, I lived in the thought that I just prefer to live my life like this lonely, detached, alone. It was tiring when you c be for no one and more when no one c atomic number 18s for yo u. This believably exhi bites the self-centered speak to contendn to men. My existence cargonless about others exhibits my being self-centered while others being self-centered is signified by how I truism them treating me.I fetched my vocation as an advocate of comprehension and technology. Yes, my first percentage point was within the realm of hard knowledge. I used to get fascinated with break throughs science gets to offer all those inventions and advances in technology. Awesome Hale great Breath-taking Fantastic All those praises No occasion faecal matter beat the belief of having invented some occasion out of no subject. Or the stamp of being the one to drastically improve the true state of something for the benefit of people around the globe it is always satisfyingOr so I was told. But who could tell it was not really a career of choice? I was one of those noble school graduates who do not really know what they want to happen in their lives. And so, without an y item basis, it was Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering that I ended up with. Not a bad call anyway. I am aware of the good future this field has to offer. I become known of lots of people who realise succeeded in this career and, yes, that is, somehow, something to expect forward to. I, at least, had this driving force to continue with my study. Fair enough to push me to strive harder and harder. I just told myself I accept it or else I will end up with nothing.Although I appeared to be so passive all the while, in my heart I know I long for something. That something, however, is unknown. I do not know if I am just one those people who catch wanting something they do not simply know what or looking for something they do not know, for sure, if existent. Can you just imagine how if notices to be in the dark? Be somewhere without any clear direction? They say that every little thing just takes a little of getting used to. Oh, well, probably, as I seemed to have bee n used to the feeling of being deep in thought(p). It was sad simply true. At this point in my life, I can never consider this as self-centeredness as I cannot even delegate myself at the center of everything. Myself was put on dark not in the center but in the darkness.Despite the lack of light in my life, I never questioned the existence of the Great Someone Up There. I perfectly know he is there. I do not recall how oft I scream for His help. Maybe not that often but, of course, I do. I do and in my heart, I know I am not essentially alone all the while. However, there are moments when I tend to question the number and quantity of challenges face me.There seems to be imbalance in load allocation. How come I am so lost while others follow certain direction? How come I do not know what I want in life while others are so certain of what they want in theirs? How come I do not seem to possess enough reason to be happy and complete. I often envy happy and satisfied people, I mus t admit but I do not harm to them. I just envy them, that is it. And more often than not, I wish I were in their shoes. I even envy my own family members who seemed to capture satisfaction in this life. Self-centered, I was, that time.In all the insecurities I have inside, there were times when I ask myself if this is something I caused. What is that something I failed to do? What is that something that I can probably change to make a difference? What could be missing? I have heard of success stories about people who started with nothing and ended up having the life they have always dreamed of. Can I not be one of them? My concern is never monetary. I did not wish for the whole world. I just want a physical composition of it a piece of it where I can have sex life to the fullest.I did not ask for extravagant things. What would a lone hand do with those? I doubt if anybody could really enjoy everything alone. I did not wish for fame. I have lived my life not having the attention of the whole world. I just want some compassion and feeling of belongingness. I did not wish for situation as I have never ever seen myself mandating others or controlling the world. It could be that I long for power but that power is the power to appreciate and enjoy life, the power to make people see me as a sensible being worth the company, the power to contribute to the real things in this world. In short, I was never a materialistic type.There are things I lack from within and that is something I longed for to fill in. Looking at these things now, it was all, I I I. I was so I-centered. Self-centeredness, however, can be seen imperatively or negatively. Realization should start from oneself. Otherwise, there is no way one can component himself to others. There is no way sharing yourself if you are now whole. In this way, self-centeredness can be seen as a first way in building or trying to build relationships with others.I used to have a, so to speak, very narrow view of things in life. I exist. I have to live. I have to survive. I used to find the question, What am I here for? or Why do I exist? as clich that should have been buried decades back. draw on You are here because you are here and there is just nothing you can do about it It is not a problem needing solution. It is just a situation that you have to live with. You are left with just two options either you continue to exist or you end your own existence. Is that something needing some sort of profound thinking? Life is as plain as that. You just have to go with the flow.I was never a somebody of confidence. I could not care less of what others might be thinking of me. Why would I? Could they care for me any better than that? I doubt I am just me. With or without me, the world would still revolve around the sun. With or without me, people from any grammatical constituent of the globe would still have 24 hours in a day. With or without me, things still go just now the same way as they do when I am here. I am a nada to ever have the notion I mean something that I am myself and this person counts. This was when I began my do of finding more meaning and finding reality in a passionate and phenomenological way (Deurzen, Kenward, 2005).This routine point of shifting specializations was particularly critical in my advocacy of Reality Therapy. I have cognise that while there are social norms and expectations that we all have to comply with in our roles, there should be no reason that should prevent me from pursuing my dreams. This is when I began to acknowledge and espouse Reality Therapy. I have realized that it would be such(prenominal) a waste to continue pursuing decisions that are against my choice and whicha are driven merely by the desire to please others.I have also begun to look into how I can create a trusting environment for clients to be more receptive of techniques that espouse imperious change in their lives (The Institute for Reality Therapy, 2007). Fr om this turning point, I have become more strongly aware of the motives behind my actions. I was not after pleasing others with every action I took rather, I started to evaluate things from the perspective of logic and sense and improving my choices in the future (Miller, 1992).As I started to look back, where did it all start? Where and when did I ever acquire this feeling of inferiority and lack of self-worth? When did I start to kill myself? After some self-scrutiny, these questions led me to this answer the number of rejections I got from people around me. I was ignored for more than once, not just twice, far more than thrice, and to say it is four times is an understatement. It is never easy to be ignored. It is a feeling I would not want myself to dwell with not anymore. As some people say, any attention is better than none. And indeed, any attention is better than the countless rejections my foregone gave me.Life has never been that kind to me. All those moments when I wa nted to say something and no one seemed to be interested to even turn a head to look at who is talking all those moments when my eyeball could not speak more of what I feel inside and yet no one seemed to take aim all those moments when the only resort I can think of is to walk and walk and walk until my life ends all those moments when all I wanted is to disappear from everybodys sight all those moments contributed to the me that I used to be. In which case, the concept of containment applied in me. It was during this time when I tend to control and keep all emotions to myself, given the assumption that no one will listen and no one will care.My life went on and on and on. I learned to care for myself and for myself alone as I do not want to meddle with any other peoples lives. Why would I? Is it not that for so long I am with myself and myself alone? Is it not that for so long, I could not seem to find anyone beside me? Who ever said, No man is an island? I used to be an island and that is something I can attest.Until this very day came I happened to come across (accidentally or probably it is fates planned way) with this certain volume entitled, Teach Only Love. I am not a makeworm, definitely. No, unless it is an Engineering, Mathematics, or Physics retain. I cannot exactly recall what is in that book that made me read it through. It was not me that is for sure. Nonetheless, the next thing I know is I finished reading that book. This is not normal. This must be something. And, indeed, it was. Why? Because reading that book had been the key to discover the other self I have. Yes, and it surprised me much more than any ref of this essay could ever imagine.What about this magical book? Nothing special at first gaze It is a sincere, plain, ordinary book that discusses the importance of our every word and every deed. It emphasizes that what we are today is essentially an aftermath of what we said and did yesterday. I then started to look back at my erstwhile(prenominal) once more the past that does not possess any allure to be revisited if not for the purpose of wanting to see myself mourning for the nth time.After reading this book once, I must admit something in me felt a slight change in perspective. But I was in denial. It is just a book a fantasy created by someone, a perspective shared to others hoping there will be people to buy the ideas. Count me out, I told myself. But this book seemed to have a magical and magnetised property that made me want to read it over again. And so I did. This time, I cannot seem to put myself in denial as I did the first time. And yes, it opened my eyes in more than just one way.How could this certain piece of something, non-living, non-speaking, can speak of the things I have never heard from anyone in my life? How could this piece of bound paper wake me up from the long sleep I have been? How could it be? These are the questions reining my head for days and days. I got tired of seekin g for answers. And then came the answer if that non-living thing happened to show the life out of me, I can do far better than that. If this thing that does not have a mouth spoke to me of million things, how better could someone with mouth do that? If this thing that does not have a hand touched me in a unique, special way that no one has ever through with(p) before, what more could my able hands do?If this thing without eyes saw me the way I have always wanted to be seen, how better could these bright eyes of mine see those who are in need of my attention? If this thing without ears heard me like I was never listened to before, what more could these ears of mine do to those people who need people to listen as they confess? If this thing without shoulder happened to offer me a cradle of comfort, what more could this broad shoulder of mine offer those who need some rest? And if this thing without a heart happened to feel me, how can my heart not feel what other people have to expr ess?It is this moment when I finally decided to stop inquire why but to start thanking God that for millions of wandering souls we have in this world, I was given the lot to come across this book that opened millions of wonderful and worthwhile possibilities. This book was also instrumental in developing my advocacy for Existential Therapy. I was then able to appreciate more my humanness, and I have begun to appreciate seeing things from a phenomenological point of view. This was a drastic shift from my previous career which dealt with things from a strongly empirical viewpoint (Existential Therapy.com, 2007). I am also more of a worshipper of Rogers, particularly of his teaching that people are innately good and evil is an external force that comes from civilisation and socialization (Rogers, 1982).And so the confession above justifies the need for me to shift my profession from the hard sciences to Counseling Psychology, specifically advocating Reality and Existential Therapie s. These are far apart degrees and, yes, I did not see myself engaging in counseling. No, not even in my wildest dream. But this is not a dream. Yes, I am living in reality and the reality is that this is the vocation of choice. This is where I find myself, my heart. This is where I belong. It is true what the magical book says that it is from your past where you draw your present. If not for the thousands of rejection, if not for the feeling of inferiority, if not for the lack of self confidence, I do not really think this book would have as much effect on me as it had.What is in counseling that truly entices me? It is not the feeling of recognition. It is not the money behind every consultation. It is not to make a living. It is to live and to let others appreciate how wonderful it is to live. Experience, indeed, is the best teacher. I know the feeling of being neglected. I experienced lots of it. And this leads me to wanting to help people feel important, feel needed, feel worth y. I know the feeling of losing self worth and so I love to boost peoples confidence in themselves.I love to see people seeing their value as a person and claiming it as theirs. I love to see people loving themselves. But going through all these things, all these aspirations for others required lots of self realization. I had to learn to love myself first. It is true that you cannot share something you do not possess in the first place. How can I share love and confidence when I do not have it myself? I started with loving myself unconditionally, being proud of myself like I have never achieved anything before, and looking myself at the mirror with the courage to say, This is me and without me, the world will never be exactly the same again. When I finally learned to appreciate my own self, that was the time I started to see others in the way they should be seen no prejudgment, no bias, no unjust feeling.This is where I started to realize the positive side of seeing things from a p henomenological point of view. I took time to stabilize myself and when the time came, accidentally or planned, that I can tell myself I am whole, was the time I can start reach out to others. Therapeutic relationship with others is where the essence of counseling relies. You have to build that kind of relationship to be able to counsel who are in need of help. When is it therapeutic? When you can ease others pain and when you can hear others grief without literally saying it. It is when your relationship with people tends to make those people feel projecting of their burden. It is the talent that no book can actually teach.The theories behind help, but the counselors approach to practice it can never be assured by the theories. Existential therapy entails understanding things from the point of the view of the client, expressing strong empathy, and having a profound realization of the goodness of human beings (Wilkes Milton, 2006). The person being counseled would want it done tha t way. Well, to start with, he seeks counseling to be paid with attention that he wants to get, to get the understanding that no one seems to give him. The counselor should be able to give that. The central purpose is to make the person being counseled feel healed of the burden.As I walk down the road, I wish my simple talk can speak of the things the lesser fortunate being would want to hear my simple touch, I wish, could give them the comfort and shield they need my simple smile, I pray, could bring them joy and hope that tomorrow is another day.There are, indeed, things no textbook can teach. There are things you can only learn as you get through it. I now know the answer to my questions and the answer is that I had to experience all those to experience what I am experiencing now. That may be the only acceptable answer and I do not really intend to search for more. Life is so simple if we only know how to really live it. Life happens but once. I might have spent many years of it in a not-so-wonderful way but it life does not lead back. It only moves forward. And so I should. No one should really wallow about the misfortunes in life, as there is no such thing.There are instances some are happy while some are not. But those that are not are not really misfortunes if we are to scrutinize. Those are just Gods way of life to prepare us. He does not teach us how to see things. He can only bid us with tests that can help us see things the way He wants us to. Our God is never a spoon-feeding, pampering God. He is a just God who gives well-rounded examinations where we can learn great lessons if we only listen. The world is a very huge venue to learn. This life is a very comprehensive exam to pass. The beauty is when we learn to appreciate the class when we go to it not because it is mandatory to go to it but because we love to.ConclusionIf anybody would ask me now if I regret giving up my first degree to pursue counseling, I will answer, The sad past led me to a wonderful today. Every bit of failure and pain did not really lead me to regretting anything because in each of those, I learned. And in each of those, I grew not just as a person for myself but as a person for other people. And now, I no longer find the question, What do I live for? mushy. I can tell, with chin up, I live for others to appreciate their lives. I do not just exist. I live. I continue to learn through others with high hopes and belief that they also learn from me.ReferencesDeurzen, E. van, Kenward, R. (2005). Dictionary of existential psychotherapy and Counselling. London Sage Publications.Existential Therapy.com. (2007). Humanistic psychology. Retrieved on April 5, 2007 from http//www.existential-therapy.com/HumanisticPsychotherapy.htmMiller, R. B. (Ed.). (1992). The restoration of dialogue Readings in the philosophy of clinical psychology. Washington, DC American Psychological Association.Rogers, C. (1982). Reply to Rollo Mays Letter to Carl Rogers. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 22, 85-89.The Institute for Reality Therapy. (2007). Reality therapy. Retrieved on April 5, 2007 from http//www.realitytherapy.org.uk/Wilkes, R. Milton, M. (2006). Being an existential therapist An IPA study of existential therapists experiences. Existential Analysis, 3(5), 24-30.